Smartphones are all the range these days allowing users to listen to music, play games, use apps, surf the web (if people still say that), take photos of themselves and of course, ‘phone people’. Smartphones are also big business for the companies who produce them and make things for them. I don’t have a smart phone though, and while people as in everyone who has one will suddenly do that gasp thing like they are shocked, which the idea of someone not having a smartphone may sound quite shocking to them but maybe not everyone else, except for those with smartphones, they can gasp all they want, it’s not going to do a thing, because, I don’t need a smartphone, and here’s why.
I have a mobile phone, I got it back in 2010, my first phone (I can hear that gasp again), before then I didn’t need one. But now I do have a phone (with buttons) and it is useful, it has the standard text feature and the standard ability to phone people like any other phone, as is the purpose of a phone, it has a calculator, tells the time and date and has a little game on it, but that’s it, just a phone, and that’s all I really need. Just something to call and message people with.
“But what about surfing the what what what?” people may ask (but not necessarily like that). Well, I have a computer to do all that with; I don’t need a phone to do that when a computer does it a whole lot better. “But what about taking pictures of things and yourself?” Well, I have a camera to do that with, and by camera I mean a proper one with an optical zoom feature which produces better quality pictures than a pixellated camera on a phone does. I don’t need a camera phone, I have a proper camera.
“OK, then what about listening to music?” Hmm, you got me there; I suppose I could use my Computer again. “But what about when you are on the move?” Hmm, I suppose I could use the free service in my head called memory, I don’t need to spend money to use my own brain, well I sort of do, but it’s a far better form of subscription called ‘FOOD’. If the day comes though that I need to acquire some form of mobile music playback device, I could just buy an iPod (correctly punctuated I, Pod), I don’t need to buy the latest iPhone (I, Phone), even more so as there will be an even more latest but technically exactly the same as the previous model iPhone released within a year from the release of the previous model of the previously stated device, and then every year from that point on from the release of the original iPhone.
“What about Apps, they’re useful” Yes, the number of times I have been on a train thinking; ‘I wonder how loud this train is’ or times I’ve been shopping to suddenly have the thought; ‘I wonder what my hand looks like through an x-ray (even though, if the phone was actually performing an x-ray on me or anyone else, it would be producing a lot of radiation and could give the user and all those who use it regularly, radiation poisoning)’. No, I don’t need apps (applications is the correct word), there’s no real point to them as far as I can see, if you think you can convince me otherwise, please leave a comment. As for games, I have the use of several video game consoles and my PC with Steam and GOG games on it. I have no need or urgent desire to play Happy Pigeons or Malicious Falcons or Lethargic Budgies or whatever it’s called or EA’s long overdue but extremely bad attempt to make money on one of the Greatest PC Games in history. If I want to play games while on the move I could use my 3DS, but at the moment I am content reading books.
I simply don’t need a smartphone, I just don’t, and if smartphones were so “smart”, why can’t they tap dance?