I Remember the 1990’s – Part 3: One Colour, Advert Colour

14 10 2010

Hello, it’s time for another look at a more peaceful time, a time when the Mobile Phone did not have control of the Human Body.

Adverts were a lot simpler back in the 1990’s. They got straight to the point, they were more polite as well and didn’t bore you with the details. NOT ANYMORE. Now Adverts are just so terrible, we have too much information on the screen, people talking about how they worked in films and some people breaking into other people’s houses. Back in the 1990’s we had nice little Jingles, we didn’t have “I’m Lovin it” or bad spelling. We had people singing 0891 50 50 50 0891 50 50 50.

The adverts back in the 90’s were creative, we had salesman claiming we can have our windows and doors fitted for just 1p, we had paint that did exactly as it said on the tin, we had people knocking on the door (politely) and asking people to try out their washing up powder, washing up powder even had that X FACTOR which made your clothes fantastic.

Nowadays we have people coming on the TV saying “I am the makeup artist on the worst film ever and I use Treseme”- WE DON’T CARE. We have bulldogs with 1 digit IQ’s going oh yes, I can do that it’s not difficult. Some of the worst ones today are the VANISH adverts. Someone says they are having problems with their clothes and at that moment VANISH breaks into the person’s house and says why not use this. I have been meaning to get on to this, in one advert a boy playing football is wearing pink football gear……………………. I don’t care about my Whites or Pinks because I don’t wear any. What about Black t-shirts. Nowadays people are urged to carry a bottle of Dettol were ever they go.

In my day Fairy liquid did everything. We had Toilet Duck in bottles that were shaped like Duck Bills. We had proper cleaning detergent, like DAZ (before it became the Soap you didn’t want to believe in) with the DAZ door step challenge.

Sweet adverts were different, we had Skittles adverts which encouraged us to Taste The Rainbow (thank you http://hannahlikessheepbaa.blogspot.com). We had chocolate adverts that showed pictures of chocolate. We didn’t have people constantly, constantly, constantly telling us that their food does contain Artificial Flavours and Colourings. We had Crunchie Chocolate Rollercoasters. We had the Cadbury’s Caramel Rabbit. Food adverts in general were better, I remember one advert that involved someone drilling holes into the back wall of a Burger King just to look at this awesome new burger. UM-BONGO. Uncle Ben’s was mentioned in the jingle. Wispa Gold was made using some kind of putting in machine. Smartie’s always had the answer.

Cheltenham and Gloucester featured an undersea battle between divers and a boy. Holsten Pils was one Colour, Beer Colour, One Flavour, Beer Flavour. Mr Muscle wasn’t a super hero. Mr Sheen rode an Aeroplane. Frogs said Budweiser, Monkeys could make tea, you were slapped you when you drank Tango, Dolmio was so good you didn’t waste a drop, Cats would dream, and some people wait, that’s what they do, Tick follows Tock follows Tick follows Tock.

We need adverts like these again, these are proper adverts. We all know that food contains Artificial Flavours and Colourings you don’t need to keep telling us. We don’t care about what celebrities think, it costs less, so more room and money for creativity, we don’t even know who Everest are let alone know what they do. Give us what we want, Proper Adverts.

(I will update when I remember more stuff)

GENEPOOL

Off-Topic: This Week I discovered a great way to wake up in the morning. Drink a Hot Chocolate and listen to music from the band Madness.








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