E3 Press Conference Notes – Microsoft

7 06 2012

XBox 360 Logo

It’s that time of year when all the Big Companies in the Video Games Industry show off all their latest stuff. Every year I watch the press conferences at E3 and make some notes and sometimes publish those on FaceBook. This year I have decided to Publish those notes on my Blog (which I have been meaning to do since I started the Blog). Now these Notes are kind of rough but notes usually are aren’t they. Stay tuned later in the month for more press conference notes but today it is Microsoft’s turn.

Looks less casual than all past E3 Conferences

Nice looking trailer, oh wait it’s Halo. Halo 4 will either be the start of a great new series (like the original series despite the fact I have not played any of them, except for round at a friend’s house and in Curry’s) or be the end of Halo altogether thanks to Microsoft milking the franchise for all it’s worth. Looks pretty Good actually.

The host looks like Ray Romano from Everybody Loves Raymond.

I thought the Wii has sold more?

Oh come on, there we go, is that the flag for Honduras? He looks like Sev from Killzone, LAWSUIT. It’s a trailer for Splinter Cell 15 or 20 or 48, I have lost count. This looks Good too, let me just do some research………. YES, it’s on PS3 too. Aren’t you going to hide the bodies? “A spy who breaks into an enemy base and kills everybody isn’t a very good spy” – Yahtzee. Didn’t someone already say that in a Bond Film “I am already dead”?

EA Sports, I might go to sleep for now. Another FIFA game, when will it end? Why don’t they do a Boxing game where you can play the part of Haye or Chisora and smash beer bottles on each other’s heads, that sounds like an Awesome Game. Madden seems to be very slow, Why can’t you attack each other, why does it have to be like real life, it’s a game, I want to use the Post’s as a weapon.

World of Warcraft on Xbox, wait it’s Fable 9421.

A new action racer, oh wait its Forza, AGAIN.

A new Gears of War, I thought it only just finished, if this gets released in the next couple of years it will more than likely flop, 4 is not a good number in the video games industry. Halo 4 has a chance because it has been a while since the last game, oh wait it hasn’t. 2013, oh dear. Forget Gears of war (for at least 5 years), when is Unreal Tournament 4 coming out?

Flying cars. All these things included in the new Forza appear to have been nicked from other racing games. Microsoft should have done the clever thing and bought Bizarre Creations when it was up for sale, that way they could bring back Gran Tourismo’s biggest realistic driving rival, Project Gotham, Forza does not hold a candle in a comparison, Forza is PANTS.

Thanks for reminding me Yusuf, I forgot that the 360 is nothing more than a Glorified Set-Top Box. If you are seen talking to your TV, your family/friends might call for an ambulance (and a straitjacket). I thought the 360 was supposed to be a Video Games Console, the more and more you say is telling me that it isn’t. BORING, I AM BORED NOW. This is supposed to be a Games Convention, stop talking about stuff that has nothing to do with Games. Interesting to see that you can watch all sports except Sumo Wrestling, Elephant Soccer and Yak Skiing. Now it’s time to move on to a clone of iTunes for your Xbox. Yes, he’s finished, time to move on…..oh no.

Nike, its licenses like this that ruin the Xbox’s true potential. This is as boring as the previous 5 hour Set-Top Box piece. Hurray less than an hour to go until the conference is finished.

Now a talk from the man who thought “I Know, lets charge people for the use of the internet twice”, well he’s the head of that division anyway so it would make sense. “Can you imagine your life without your Smart Phone or Tablet”, yes I can seeing as I don’t own either. It’s not a 360 Tablet is it, that would prove without a Shadow of a doubt that they are just copying Nintendo, As far as I can see, it is not, but most other things the Xbox has implemented since 2007 has just been copied from Nintendo. If I wanted to read when watching a film I would watch a World Cinema Film. I want to enjoy a film, not read interesting facts about it at the same time. The way he talks sounds like he is not actually a fan of Game of Thrones. Internet Explorer is coming to Xbox, I thought with it being a Microsoft Product it would already have it. Hurray, Prometheus Debuted in the UK before America, UK, UK, UK, UK, UK.

Someone with a brilliant British Accent. The Reboot that Tomb Raider needs. Looks strikingly similar to Uncharted, hmm. That man someone sprung back up after getting shot in the leg. Yes we can see you are on fire. They make great noises when they get shot/die. Slow Motion River? A scene similar to a scene in The Lost World Jurassic Park, and now a scene similar to a scene in Jurassic Park 3 (without the Pterodactyl’s of course). Looks Good, nice cap.

He looks a bit like Christian Slater. Ascend looks Good. What is Loco Cycle and Matta or Matter?

Another Resident Evil, oh dear. Are there Zombies piloting the Helicopter? Appears to be an improvement, could be Good, for a change. I was right, Zombies in Helicopter. They appear to be slightly more camp Zombies.

Wreckateer looks interesting, oh no it involves Kinect, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. If it had a proper controller it could be awesome. Why is it that Microsoft always has to ruin the end of their shows with Kinect.

The South Park game appears to have a nice blend of Action, RPG, Story and Side Scrolling gameplay, could be a Very Good Game. Definitely looks better than that racing game from the 90’s. Trey Parker and Matt Stone really know how to present something, they are almost as Fantastic as Tim Schafer. Please stay on, you are better than the whole conference, please don’t go.

No, Go Away Harmonix, we have had enough of rhythm dance games. Look out for Dance Central 4 at next year’s E3 and Dance Central 5 the following year, it’s almost like Fifa. Is this Americas entry into the Eurovision Song Contest (despite the fact that America is not allowed to join in).

Ray is back, Stand in the centre please.

I did not play much of Black Ops but I did like the Zombie part, I would buy Black Ops just to play the Zombies Game in it. I wonder if Black Ops 2 has Zombies. A female president, that’s new – NOT. Looks Great, could be better than Modern Warfare, more futuristic, this is what the series needs. A proper Gun Game not a realistic shooter, Brilliant. Some Gameplay looks similar to Frontlines, Frontlines is a Good Game. The Plane piece looks like a Battlefield 3 (which is better than all Call of Duty Games) copy but still looks like a Fun feature. Black Ops 2 looks really Good but what I really want to play is Call of Duty Zombies, that would be better and would sell better than Modern Warfare.

Microsoft has had an improvement this year but it keeps forgetting that it should be all about the games and not the features on its glorified Set-Top Box. While it is improving it is not by much. Once again they keep all the major stuff at the beginning which means that after you have seen the first 3-5 games you may as well stop watching. OK, they do finish on a high note but the show is already ruined beyond repair. Some games look really Good but there could be so much more. I might stop watching their presentations in the future. What I would really like to know is, Can I buy a 360 without Kinect, all other pointless features and just use it to play games, is that at all possible?

GENEPOOL

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