Animal First Words: A Compendium Of First Words That Will Be Used By Animals If They Suddenly Became Sentient

16 05 2014

War Horse (Scholastic - 2010)

After recently reading the book and book of the play of War Horse by Michael Morpurgo at University, during one of the lessons where we looked at the book, I wrote this piece about what animals are likely to say if they suddenly gained sentience. Now while this list only covers a few animals, I may update it later on. Enjoy.

Crocodile

Crocodile: “Morning”

Donkey

Donkey: (Slightly Surprised) – “What?”

Labrador

Labrador: (Happy) – “Hello”

Chicken

Chicken: (Won’t Stop Screaming) – “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Snail

Snail: “What’s the point?”

Mouse

Mouse: “Is this Norway?”

Bat

Bat: “Who turned out the lights?”

Cow

Cow: “Moooo”

Rabbit

Rabbit: (Texan Accent) – “I need a cigarette”

Songbird

Songbird: (Perturbed) – “I am singing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order!”

Kangaroo

Kangaroo: (Annoyed) – “Stop singing that song!”

Barn Owl

Barn Owl: (Posh) – “How do you do?”

Tawny Owl

Tawny Owl: (Annoyed) – “Get on with it!”

Horse

Horse: (Angry Retaliation) – “What’s wrong with your face!”

GENEPOOL

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2 responses

16 05 2014
The Colclough

i think the chicken, mouse and cow are my favourites. possibly also the rabbit because the idea of cute innocent bunnies promoting marlborough and lung cancer is perversely funny.

17 05 2014
numb3r5s

The Rabbit was inspired by an episode of King of the Hill where one of the characters; Dale runs out of cigarettes, and I had that voice in my head the whole time.

The Chicken was so obvious and I thought that cows are boring to the point that given the option to speak like a human being, they would just say Moo anyway.

As for the Mouse, well why not?

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