The Lost Reviews – Timberman

17 05 2016

Timberman 2

A wise man once said “I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay.” Well after playing this game I can say that I am a lumberjack, but after playing on Multiplayer mode, I don’t know if I’ll be able to say I am okay. Timberman (Digital Melody - 2015)

Timberman is an arcade style, casual flash game for the PC where you play the role of a Lumberjack chopping down trees as quickly as possible without dying. The game has a simple interface and control scheme. You are represented by a lumberjack avatar, and you have an axe. When the game starts, all you need to do is click away furiously to chop down as much tree as possible. You will need to alter which side of the tree you chop down to avoid the large number of killer branches. As the tree falls with each click, branches come down with it, and if a branch falls on you, you die. Controlling which side you chop on is very easy, all you do is change which mouse clicker you are clicking with. You will also need to be aware of a timer above your head counting down the amount of time you have left until your imminent death.

Timberman 3

Personally I prefer to avoid games that are made specifically to look like pixellated arcade games from the pre mid 1980’s; Timberman’s graphics however are aesthetically pleasing to the eye. They are not blurry nor cause any worry for potential photosensitive seizures. They are in fact very nice to look at, plus it makes the game easier to run, which is especially useful on computers not designed for playing heavy games, and easy access multiplayer battles. A neat little feature the game is that when one game is finished, and you decide to play another, the time of day changes. So from a nice autumn day, to a dark night, to a nice summer’s day. Timberman also comes packed with dozens of Timberman characters too. Some of these are beneficial to unlocking others, which is very useful if you are not the most hardcore of lumberjacks. These can range from simple characters like the basic Timberman with a different coloured shirt, to ridiculous characters like Father Christmas, a Bear, a Snowman, Jason Voorhees and Barack Obama.

Timberman 5

At best; single player mode is just a way to hone your tree cutting skills and unlock new characters. It’s Multiplayer mode where this game really comes out to shine. Now if you’re anything like me and play mostly on your laptop, it can be hard to play multiplayer games especially those of big graphically powered games. The number of times I have decided to play Left 4 Dead on Multiplayer, and found my computer and connection so slow that I have had to reposition myself in the hope of getting a stronger signal. Due to Timberman’s increased accessibility though it is so easy to connect and play without any interruptions. Multiplayer takes the form of a battle/race to chop down as much tree as possible without dying. It follows the same gameplay methods as single player, but this time you find yourself lined up with up to 3 other lumberjacks. These battles play over several rounds with scores being taken from each round. Whoever has the highest score after 5 rounds, wins. With winning such battles comes the opportunity to have your skill level and rank increased, so you can show off to the entire world (or at least those who play this game) how good you are at chopping down trees.

Timberman 4

Despite some of its good points however, the game does have a few shortcomings. Single player does not have much longevity to it other than to unlock new skins. This though is relatively minor to a bigger gripe I have. Timberman does not have a Tutorial mode; neither shows any information on how you play it. The first time you play you are at a complete loss to understand how on earth you are supposed to play it. It sort of expects you to know, thinking that the relative simple understanding will be enough. It reminds me of the seaside side-show game Whack-a-Mole. All you get is a mallet and have to hit moles with it. Timberman as a concept runs along similar lines to this, however as you are not actually holding the axe in your real hands, there is no way of knowing how you actually swing it. Then the issue of dying from branches comes up where you learn that the hard way after several games of not looking, thinking you just keep on clicking. The Red bar above your head is self-explanatory, but in your first game you could very easily die without knowing how you do anything. The Soundtrack is pretty cool. It has an early arcade game sound to it which when mixed with the pixellated graphics is a nice added touch. But it’s just endless and can get pretty boring after a while. It’s just a shame there is not any variety in the music compared to the changing of the time of day.

Timberman 1

Timber man is a rather fun game. It’s a nice cool, fun concept. It is an easy game to play (once you know how), the graphics are rather neat and the inclusion of customizable lumberjacks and the ever-changing day and season calendar is a nice little add-on. While it does include some issues such as the repetitive music, lack of a more diverse single player mode and the irritating non-existence of a tutorial mode; Timberman is worth going through some of these issues just to play in multiplayer clashes.

Timberman 6

GENEPOOL (another thing that is missing is the quaint stroll through the wood like there was in Rashomon).





Pleasant Dreams And The World Of Nightmares: A Short History In Honour Of What Was Once My Bed

28 01 2015

 

My Bed 1

Last week, when getting into bed, it finally gave way, and broke. While other members in my family have been through many beds, mine just kept on going and going and for 20 years (yes…..20). In honour of such a well-made, well-built piece of furniture, I present to you, The Story of My Bed (I doubt this will be a long post).

Cot

When I was young; I, like many babies, slept in a cot. It was white one. Then I remember having a trip out to a furniture shop and then a few weeks later a new double-decker bed was in my room, and one night, I no longer slept in a cot. While my sadness for that passing was big, I soon got used to my new bed. The idea for the purchasing of the bed I think was for my brother to also sleep in it when his room was being used as a guest room. So he would sleep in it. Some of the activities and games I got up to during my youth in that bed included using it as a vantage point to shoot my bow and arrow at cardboard people used at a church holiday bible club, watching people trying to represent events from World’s Strongest Man, playing football on the top bit, pretending it was a bus using a small arcade games machine (I think from a car boot sale) which involved driving down a road and running over crabs, probably pretending it was a train at some point, and much, much more. I used to sleep on the top bunk a lot, but eventually went down to the bottom one. One night I remember the ladder bit came off and being worried that some structural rigidity had been lost. Eventually though, in 2006, the bottom part broke. I can’t remember how, it just did, and my dad and brother helped me get it sorted, by lifting off the top bunk, removing the bottom one and putting the top one down. So from then on, that’s what my bed has been like.

 

Bunk Bed

It wasn’t exactly a conventional bed, due to the barriers on the side, getting into the bed each night was like doing the High Jump (I wonder if I should apply for the Olympics; I have the experience?) and to begin with I wondered for a few years if the barriers could be removed, but as I got used to it, I just forgot about it. The story of my bed just continued on and on for many years, but I knew it’s time would come. A few weeks ago I started to hear creaks as I got into bed, this went on for a week or so and I looked underneath. There was some damage, but the one that stood out most was a rib that broke several years ago (when I was trying to practice a leg drop; back when I wanted to be a Professional Wrestler). But I thought nothing of it. Then, last week, as I did what was to be my last daily high jump routine (I didn’t actually jump, getting into the bed naturally still involved getting my leg over the barrier then twisting my back in what may one day be known as the Arthur Twist), settled into bed and immediately, it collapsed. I got out, saw the damage. A beam had broken off. The only thing preventing me from hitting the floor was all the boxes underneath it. My brother got the mattress out for me; put it on the floor so I could still sleep. That is where I am now, sleeping on the floor in my room until a replacement bed comes. If it wasn’t for a sore throat and a cold, I may have gone out by time of writing this (Monday) to get a new one.

My Bed 2

While the future of my next bed remains uncertain, My old bed supported my sleeping weight for 20 years as I slowly got heavier and heavier. It has been a fun ride stationary one at that, when it wasn’t an imaginary train or bus) filled with 2 decades of sweet dreams, nightmares and my own version of the Fosbury Flop. Sweet Dreams my old bed, you’ve earned it.

My Bed 3

GENEPOOL (While that bunk bed picture is not my original bunk bed, it does look a lot like it).








%d bloggers like this: