Pleasant Dreams And The World Of Nightmares: A Short History In Honour Of What Was Once My Bed

28 01 2015


My Bed 1

Last week, when getting into bed, it finally gave way, and broke. While other members in my family have been through many beds, mine just kept on going and going and for 20 years (yes…..20). In honour of such a well-made, well-built piece of furniture, I present to you, The Story of My Bed (I doubt this will be a long post).


When I was young; I, like many babies, slept in a cot. It was white one. Then I remember having a trip out to a furniture shop and then a few weeks later a new double-decker bed was in my room, and one night, I no longer slept in a cot. While my sadness for that passing was big, I soon got used to my new bed. The idea for the purchasing of the bed I think was for my brother to also sleep in it when his room was being used as a guest room. So he would sleep in it. Some of the activities and games I got up to during my youth in that bed included using it as a vantage point to shoot my bow and arrow at cardboard people used at a church holiday bible club, watching people trying to represent events from World’s Strongest Man, playing football on the top bit, pretending it was a bus using a small arcade games machine (I think from a car boot sale) which involved driving down a road and running over crabs, probably pretending it was a train at some point, and much, much more. I used to sleep on the top bunk a lot, but eventually went down to the bottom one. One night I remember the ladder bit came off and being worried that some structural rigidity had been lost. Eventually though, in 2006, the bottom part broke. I can’t remember how, it just did, and my dad and brother helped me get it sorted, by lifting off the top bunk, removing the bottom one and putting the top one down. So from then on, that’s what my bed has been like.


Bunk Bed

It wasn’t exactly a conventional bed, due to the barriers on the side, getting into the bed each night was like doing the High Jump (I wonder if I should apply for the Olympics; I have the experience?) and to begin with I wondered for a few years if the barriers could be removed, but as I got used to it, I just forgot about it. The story of my bed just continued on and on for many years, but I knew it’s time would come. A few weeks ago I started to hear creaks as I got into bed, this went on for a week or so and I looked underneath. There was some damage, but the one that stood out most was a rib that broke several years ago (when I was trying to practice a leg drop; back when I wanted to be a Professional Wrestler). But I thought nothing of it. Then, last week, as I did what was to be my last daily high jump routine (I didn’t actually jump, getting into the bed naturally still involved getting my leg over the barrier then twisting my back in what may one day be known as the Arthur Twist), settled into bed and immediately, it collapsed. I got out, saw the damage. A beam had broken off. The only thing preventing me from hitting the floor was all the boxes underneath it. My brother got the mattress out for me; put it on the floor so I could still sleep. That is where I am now, sleeping on the floor in my room until a replacement bed comes. If it wasn’t for a sore throat and a cold, I may have gone out by time of writing this (Monday) to get a new one.

My Bed 2

While the future of my next bed remains uncertain, My old bed supported my sleeping weight for 20 years as I slowly got heavier and heavier. It has been a fun ride stationary one at that, when it wasn’t an imaginary train or bus) filled with 2 decades of sweet dreams, nightmares and my own version of the Fosbury Flop. Sweet Dreams my old bed, you’ve earned it.

My Bed 3

GENEPOOL (While that bunk bed picture is not my original bunk bed, it does look a lot like it).

Sam’s Rant – London 2012 Olympics

27 07 2012

Usually when one of the big sporting events happen (which is every 2 years) I am usually annoyed due to the fact that everyone won’t stop talking about them, find someway of saying that because it is the anniversary of something it is a sign of them winning and also because TV for the next 2 weeks (4-6 weeks in case of the world cup and 5 million years in the case of cricket) will all be rubbish. But this year it is even more annoying, why, because I live in the UK. Now that is not a bad thing, there are many things I love about my country but sport is not one of them, at least it is not the world cup, because that would be worse. At least the UK is not holding the world cup for the next 14 years at minimum.

I have been saying it for a long time that the London Olympics will be rubbish. Every time there is the olympics (well at least at the 2008 olympics) there is something that will lower the mood. In 2008 it was about Tibet, this year it is the new olympic sport of Missile Firing off Tower Blocks. Yes the London olympics has a new sport, well not really. Come to think about it when those missile trucks were brought into the capital I am surprised they managed to get to their destinations because the roads in the UK are all jammed up even when there are not missile trucks on the roads so how did they even manage to get to their destination is amazing, I wonder if they had to pay the congestion charge, those things are also quite slow so they must have had to pay it several times, one for each day. As long as Giant Monsters attack you do not need those missile emplacements. If Monsters do attack people will not have a problem with those missile sites, but more than likely the missiles will just help the monsters. It is more than likely that this will not happen but London has been attacked by Monsters at least 3 times (I know this because I have been making a Database on the subject) and seeing as people will be watching sport, nobody will be watching Lost Worlds, the London Underground and of course the Sea (and the Thames last year if I get a Time Machine and use my extensive Movie Knowledge to create something that will bring the whole nation together and also may prevent the London Riots).

Other than that you have the controversy (and that one about brands) over G4S. I thought it might be best just to employ the police, oh wait there are none because the government fired them all, well ok, not exactly. The only thing I really know about G4S except for them being a security company and also deliver money to banks in those transit vans is they check your train tickets when you are travelling from Preston to anywhere from platform 1 and 2. I think that may be because all the other platform use Virgin and TransPennine Express while Platform’s 1 and 2 use the always slow Northern Rail (and maybe Grand Central in the future if they decide to and Arriva lets them do it as well as do the correct thing of letting them do what they want to do and just sign checks without asking questions). Well it looks like the army has been brought in, so at least we will be prepared in the event of a Monster Attack.

One issue that I have with the olympics is something that happened 1 year ago. At a 1 year to go event in London near the clock (which sadly did not go wrong which would have been really funny). The theme they were using for the event was London Calling by The Clash, which is a Fantastic Song and a perfect choice, but the version they were using was some DJ version, which was rubbish and should be a crime. DJ and Rap music takes well known, well-loved music to do a cover of and makes them rubbish, that’s a fact, so why did london do this? Well there has been No answer (because as far as I can tell, I am the only person who has pointed this out). Three of the original 4 members (classic members) are still alive, so why were these people not asked to do the song, I mean it would not cost that much to get them back together, why did London have to hire some really rubbish DJ. In terms of other music I heard that Elbow was hired, I am not a fan (except for the song Grounds for Divorce which is fantastic, the tune has nice rock tune) but I do not disagree with the idea, they are not a bad choice, but why couldn’t we have a more successful, well known band to do it like Iron Maiden, The Rolling Stones, Motorhead, The Who, Saxon, Madness, The ProdigyLed Zeppelin or Black Sabbath. These bands have been extremely successful and are well known to be from the UK. Only one of these were chosen to perform at the Queens Jubilee (which is a shame because all the other bands (except Tom Jones) were all not as good as the bands I have just mentioned). They could at least do some Deep Purple, Jon Lord sadly passed away a couple of weeks ago, it would be a fitting tribute.  Were These bands even asked to do the music for the Olympics? Because if they weren’t, that just seems rude. Why can’t we just have Hellion Electric Eye by Judas Priest, they are retiring, it would have been a nice send off for them (or even Breaking The Law because that would really fit for a big UK city and might explain what a Chav is for all the other countries in the world).

The mascots for London are all wrong too, The Chinese ones had a sort of Manga/Anime look (ok wrong country) but it sort of fit. London’s mascots should represent our country, so one should be a chav and the other be a drug dealer, it makes sense. They are supposed to represent (in some obviously unseen way) the industrial revolution but they look more like webcams (which would fit nicely with Hellion Electric Eye by Judas Priest) and so far they have only been shown on McDonalds Adverts and Posters which in a way is very British (even though McDonalds is American).

The Olympic torch is quite nice, particularly when it came through Lancaster (I can’t remember if it was mentioned on the news but I was in Ulverston that evening have a fun time which could explain me not seeing any news on it but seeing as everywhere else had news about it leaving out Lancaster would be extremely unfair). Even though my photos could have been better but they were sort of ruined by people with Umbrellas leaning over the railings (a red umbrella in particular). The whole event was not much really, just a person with a flaming stick. Also at the time I had a scene from a Godzilla film in my head. In a way it is surprising that the torch did not go out, it was pouring with rain. Also, why did Will.I.Am, carry the torch? He is American not British.

One of the biggest issues I have is with TV. It is a well known fact that when a big sporting event is on it means that for the period that it is on, Normal TV is Rubbish, that is TV for normal people who don’t really care. Most of the news is about the event of course and there are endless shows about the event as if we don’t know that the event was on. But it is not just during the event. Usually the shows would finish quite quickly afterwards but they start a few weeks before hand, but if you are the host nation, they start 3 months before hand which is even more annoying. I feel sorry for all host nations of sporting event’s, well at least the normal people. Well at least it is not the World Cup, because once again that would be worse. It is not the just the TV Shows (I still need to watch the thing on the Big Red Tower which looks quite nice), it’s the adverts too. The biggest criminal in Olympic Advertising is EDF, for the past few years their adverts have involved Green Energy advertisement with bad songs, the one from Mud particularly. The recent ones with the little thing have been an improvement but our TV Screens have already been scarred. Well when the whole thing is over the bad adverts will go, at least after two weeks because anymore than that and no one will be able to take them seriously for a long while (except for those BT adverts because they have been a joke since Kris Marshall was first spotted on them).  To be honest Tonight is the opening ceremony and I am more excited about Mondays episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer on SyFy, I have recently become a fan of the show, so much so in fact that I want to do a whole series of posts about the show.

More than likely I will not watch much, I might watch some sports here and there but really it is not for me. I did like what The Now Show said about the olympics with the idea of some sports being replaced like The Triathlon standard of Running, Swimming and Cycling with Taxi, Bus and Minicab. I might watch the diving because it is sort of interesting and I may keep my eye open for the wrestling just in case Kurt Angle does show up.

I do think it is far too overdue for Video Games to have a place in the Olympics (or even their own olympics, you could call it the Cyber Olympics, just a suggestion that makes perfect sense). It would interest more young people. The CGS showed that the idea of competitive Gaming works and so why not bring it back, that format would work for the olympics, and it had a fantastic theme too. Who knows maybe I could win a Gold medal, Ok it is more than likely I won’t but at least I can try out for the UK team. Also the UK could do really well at it because the last time the CGS happened the UK won it with the Birmingham Salvo so technically the UK is the current World Champions at Video Games and don’t forget that Video Games are the national sport of South Korea. This is the start of a Revolution, at least bring back the CGS and take it from there. So why not do it Olympic Comitee People, you know it makes sense (it appears Intel are doing something, so why not go and have a chat with them).

You may be thinking that all things will be better when it is all over and done with, no it won’t for 2 reasons. The UK likes to complain when it does not win and will try to find ways of getting back at people by arguing why they did not win. OK, this does not just apply to the UK, it’s just we have the Gold medal at it. We also like to blame our own sportsman and ruin their careers. A prime example of this is the bloke who dropped the ball at the World Cup. The UK who is Football Mad (in some ways it is almost a medical condition) did not stop complaining at this and more than likely complained at it in the form of saying that they are better than him. It is important to point out that the goalie is on the team for a reason, because he is good while people from the pub are more than likely not. If he makes a mistake, no problem, except for some reason there is. The problem with Football Madness is that because it takes over the human brain all you can think of is anger when something like this happens because a British Person thinks it is the end of the world when their team loses a football match, which is quite sad, (not losing at football, that is just something that will happen from time to time). There are other times when controversy will happen for other reasons, like that woman (Caster Semenya) a couple of years ago who was told that she may have to take a sex test because she won a medal. The other problem with the olympics is that either way you look at it, it will be rubbish, not just Before and During but After too, why? Because once again the UK is Football Mad. Yes the Stadium will be turned into a football stadium and for a big club (which may spark controversy because apparently there is a small club in the area whose name I have forgotten but sounds oriental). For the first time the UK has a place where athletes can train at an olympic level in one place without travelling all over the country but once again Football takes centre stage. It’s bad enough that Battersea Power Station may get turned into a football stadium, it (and the olympic stadium) would make a great arena for all events, but that will probably not happen (I wonder if the chimneys will get used as missile sites). Why is football even in the olympics when it gets its own thing every 4 years?

Well the Opening ceremony is about to begin which has been orchestrated by the man who made the rather dull Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle. Sadly, it probably won’t be the idea that Top Gear came up with which would look a whole lot better but hopefully it won’t be a massive waste of time. What would be good is if the plot from 127 Hours is repeated and the Torch Bearer cuts his arm off as carries it, just before he lights the main torch. I hope the countdown is like the one in the trailer for The Hunger Games, big booming voice, 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 (Now there’s an idea for an Olympic Sport).

Well anyway, Enjoy the Olympics, It may be fun to watch and don’t waste it, it could be more than 20 years until the next time the UK holds it. It will be nice to walk around the park (once it is all finished, less crowds). For me, I am just happy it is finally here and it will all (mainly) be finished in 2 weeks, FANTASTIC. Let The Games Begin.

GENEPOOL (did anyone get my pun earlier?)

Movie Marathons: The New Olympic Sport

26 10 2011

Olympic Flag

I have already created the Idea of Christmas Crackers being a possible Olympic Sport and now (after spending a while on the Daily post looking for an idea for this week’s post) I have created the Movie Marathon Event.

The Idea of it is very simple, each country chooses it’s entrant into the event. All entrants are then placed in a Cinema together and have to watch Movie Marathons (a whole series of film’s shown in sequential order). So they have to watch an entire film series in order and keep watching films until only one athlete is still awake. Yes it is a sport at who is the best person at staying awake watching films. So Gold for whoever is the last person awake, Silver for the last person to fall asleep and Bronze for the person who fell asleep before the last person. Also to make it fair and stop people from falling asleep for a bit then wake up again, when an athlete falls asleep they will be forced to leave.

Die Another Day (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer - 2002)

There are many film series in the world so it may be a good idea to choose series with lots of film in it. So, Guess what it is – that’s right, all 29 Godzilla Films. Each one is about 1 Hour and a half to 2 Hours so that is a long time. Also I do fancy the idea of watching all 29 Godzilla Films in sequential order. That’s sounds like a Great Day (OK there are other film series but that is the one I would prefer).

I mean you could watch all 22 James Bond Films, all 8 Star Wars Films or all 3 Transformers Films. Of course if people are still awake after a film series is finished then another one will be played and this will continue until 1 person is awake.

So, what do you think of this new Olympic sport and do you think you could be an Olympic Gold Medallist? Who knows, maybe one day it will become an Olympic Event.


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