Sam’s Rant – London 2012 Olympics

27 07 2012

Usually when one of the big sporting events happen (which is every 2 years) I am usually annoyed due to the fact that everyone won’t stop talking about them, find someway of saying that because it is the anniversary of something it is a sign of them winning and also because TV for the next 2 weeks (4-6 weeks in case of the world cup and 5 million years in the case of cricket) will all be rubbish. But this year it is even more annoying, why, because I live in the UK. Now that is not a bad thing, there are many things I love about my country but sport is not one of them, at least it is not the world cup, because that would be worse. At least the UK is not holding the world cup for the next 14 years at minimum.

I have been saying it for a long time that the London Olympics will be rubbish. Every time there is the olympics (well at least at the 2008 olympics) there is something that will lower the mood. In 2008 it was about Tibet, this year it is the new olympic sport of Missile Firing off Tower Blocks. Yes the London olympics has a new sport, well not really. Come to think about it when those missile trucks were brought into the capital I am surprised they managed to get to their destinations because the roads in the UK are all jammed up even when there are not missile trucks on the roads so how did they even manage to get to their destination is amazing, I wonder if they had to pay the congestion charge, those things are also quite slow so they must have had to pay it several times, one for each day. As long as Giant Monsters attack you do not need those missile emplacements. If Monsters do attack people will not have a problem with those missile sites, but more than likely the missiles will just help the monsters. It is more than likely that this will not happen but London has been attacked by Monsters at least 3 times (I know this because I have been making a Database on the subject) and seeing as people will be watching sport, nobody will be watching Lost Worlds, the London Underground and of course the Sea (and the Thames last year if I get a Time Machine and use my extensive Movie Knowledge to create something that will bring the whole nation together and also may prevent the London Riots).

Other than that you have the controversy (and that one about brands) over G4S. I thought it might be best just to employ the police, oh wait there are none because the government fired them all, well ok, not exactly. The only thing I really know about G4S except for them being a security company and also deliver money to banks in those transit vans is they check your train tickets when you are travelling from Preston to anywhere from platform 1 and 2. I think that may be because all the other platform use Virgin and TransPennine Express while Platform’s 1 and 2 use the always slow Northern Rail (and maybe Grand Central in the future if they decide to and Arriva lets them do it as well as do the correct thing of letting them do what they want to do and just sign checks without asking questions). Well it looks like the army has been brought in, so at least we will be prepared in the event of a Monster Attack.

One issue that I have with the olympics is something that happened 1 year ago. At a 1 year to go event in London near the clock (which sadly did not go wrong which would have been really funny). The theme they were using for the event was London Calling by The Clash, which is a Fantastic Song and a perfect choice, but the version they were using was some DJ version, which was rubbish and should be a crime. DJ and Rap music takes well known, well-loved music to do a cover of and makes them rubbish, that’s a fact, so why did london do this? Well there has been No answer (because as far as I can tell, I am the only person who has pointed this out). Three of the original 4 members (classic members) are still alive, so why were these people not asked to do the song, I mean it would not cost that much to get them back together, why did London have to hire some really rubbish DJ. In terms of other music I heard that Elbow was hired, I am not a fan (except for the song Grounds for Divorce which is fantastic, the tune has nice rock tune) but I do not disagree with the idea, they are not a bad choice, but why couldn’t we have a more successful, well known band to do it like Iron Maiden, The Rolling Stones, Motorhead, The Who, Saxon, Madness, The ProdigyLed Zeppelin or Black Sabbath. These bands have been extremely successful and are well known to be from the UK. Only one of these were chosen to perform at the Queens Jubilee (which is a shame because all the other bands (except Tom Jones) were all not as good as the bands I have just mentioned). They could at least do some Deep Purple, Jon Lord sadly passed away a couple of weeks ago, it would be a fitting tribute.  Were These bands even asked to do the music for the Olympics? Because if they weren’t, that just seems rude. Why can’t we just have Hellion Electric Eye by Judas Priest, they are retiring, it would have been a nice send off for them (or even Breaking The Law because that would really fit for a big UK city and might explain what a Chav is for all the other countries in the world).

The mascots for London are all wrong too, The Chinese ones had a sort of Manga/Anime look (ok wrong country) but it sort of fit. London’s mascots should represent our country, so one should be a chav and the other be a drug dealer, it makes sense. They are supposed to represent (in some obviously unseen way) the industrial revolution but they look more like webcams (which would fit nicely with Hellion Electric Eye by Judas Priest) and so far they have only been shown on McDonalds Adverts and Posters which in a way is very British (even though McDonalds is American).

The Olympic torch is quite nice, particularly when it came through Lancaster (I can’t remember if it was mentioned on the news but I was in Ulverston that evening have a fun time which could explain me not seeing any news on it but seeing as everywhere else had news about it leaving out Lancaster would be extremely unfair). Even though my photos could have been better but they were sort of ruined by people with Umbrellas leaning over the railings (a red umbrella in particular). The whole event was not much really, just a person with a flaming stick. Also at the time I had a scene from a Godzilla film in my head. In a way it is surprising that the torch did not go out, it was pouring with rain. Also, why did Will.I.Am, carry the torch? He is American not British.

One of the biggest issues I have is with TV. It is a well known fact that when a big sporting event is on it means that for the period that it is on, Normal TV is Rubbish, that is TV for normal people who don’t really care. Most of the news is about the event of course and there are endless shows about the event as if we don’t know that the event was on. But it is not just during the event. Usually the shows would finish quite quickly afterwards but they start a few weeks before hand, but if you are the host nation, they start 3 months before hand which is even more annoying. I feel sorry for all host nations of sporting event’s, well at least the normal people. Well at least it is not the World Cup, because once again that would be worse. It is not the just the TV Shows (I still need to watch the thing on the Big Red Tower which looks quite nice), it’s the adverts too. The biggest criminal in Olympic Advertising is EDF, for the past few years their adverts have involved Green Energy advertisement with bad songs, the one from Mud particularly. The recent ones with the little thing have been an improvement but our TV Screens have already been scarred. Well when the whole thing is over the bad adverts will go, at least after two weeks because anymore than that and no one will be able to take them seriously for a long while (except for those BT adverts because they have been a joke since Kris Marshall was first spotted on them).  To be honest Tonight is the opening ceremony and I am more excited about Mondays episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer on SyFy, I have recently become a fan of the show, so much so in fact that I want to do a whole series of posts about the show.

More than likely I will not watch much, I might watch some sports here and there but really it is not for me. I did like what The Now Show said about the olympics with the idea of some sports being replaced like The Triathlon standard of Running, Swimming and Cycling with Taxi, Bus and Minicab. I might watch the diving because it is sort of interesting and I may keep my eye open for the wrestling just in case Kurt Angle does show up.

I do think it is far too overdue for Video Games to have a place in the Olympics (or even their own olympics, you could call it the Cyber Olympics, just a suggestion that makes perfect sense). It would interest more young people. The CGS showed that the idea of competitive Gaming works and so why not bring it back, that format would work for the olympics, and it had a fantastic theme too. Who knows maybe I could win a Gold medal, Ok it is more than likely I won’t but at least I can try out for the UK team. Also the UK could do really well at it because the last time the CGS happened the UK won it with the Birmingham Salvo so technically the UK is the current World Champions at Video Games and don’t forget that Video Games are the national sport of South Korea. This is the start of a Revolution, at least bring back the CGS and take it from there. So why not do it Olympic Comitee People, you know it makes sense (it appears Intel are doing something, so why not go and have a chat with them).

You may be thinking that all things will be better when it is all over and done with, no it won’t for 2 reasons. The UK likes to complain when it does not win and will try to find ways of getting back at people by arguing why they did not win. OK, this does not just apply to the UK, it’s just we have the Gold medal at it. We also like to blame our own sportsman and ruin their careers. A prime example of this is the bloke who dropped the ball at the World Cup. The UK who is Football Mad (in some ways it is almost a medical condition) did not stop complaining at this and more than likely complained at it in the form of saying that they are better than him. It is important to point out that the goalie is on the team for a reason, because he is good while people from the pub are more than likely not. If he makes a mistake, no problem, except for some reason there is. The problem with Football Madness is that because it takes over the human brain all you can think of is anger when something like this happens because a British Person thinks it is the end of the world when their team loses a football match, which is quite sad, (not losing at football, that is just something that will happen from time to time). There are other times when controversy will happen for other reasons, like that woman (Caster Semenya) a couple of years ago who was told that she may have to take a sex test because she won a medal. The other problem with the olympics is that either way you look at it, it will be rubbish, not just Before and During but After too, why? Because once again the UK is Football Mad. Yes the Stadium will be turned into a football stadium and for a big club (which may spark controversy because apparently there is a small club in the area whose name I have forgotten but sounds oriental). For the first time the UK has a place where athletes can train at an olympic level in one place without travelling all over the country but once again Football takes centre stage. It’s bad enough that Battersea Power Station may get turned into a football stadium, it (and the olympic stadium) would make a great arena for all events, but that will probably not happen (I wonder if the chimneys will get used as missile sites). Why is football even in the olympics when it gets its own thing every 4 years?

Well the Opening ceremony is about to begin which has been orchestrated by the man who made the rather dull Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle. Sadly, it probably won’t be the idea that Top Gear came up with which would look a whole lot better but hopefully it won’t be a massive waste of time. What would be good is if the plot from 127 Hours is repeated and the Torch Bearer cuts his arm off as carries it, just before he lights the main torch. I hope the countdown is like the one in the trailer for The Hunger Games, big booming voice, 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 (Now there’s an idea for an Olympic Sport).

Well anyway, Enjoy the Olympics, It may be fun to watch and don’t waste it, it could be more than 20 years until the next time the UK holds it. It will be nice to walk around the park (once it is all finished, less crowds). For me, I am just happy it is finally here and it will all (mainly) be finished in 2 weeks, FANTASTIC. Let The Games Begin.

GENEPOOL (did anyone get my pun earlier?)